yesterday

It’s difficult to rest my mind on nights when I allow it to wander too much. It wanders itself into a wonder and then I have to write to wind it back up into a brain again. It’s like a garden hose all sprawled out on the lawn in the middle of the night. And there’s no need for a hose at 1 o’clock in the morning because the dew is beginning to settle on the grass and the flowers are asleep like I should be.

i thought i saw you today. But as it turns out, it was only your doppelganger.

puked up my guts tonight
That turkey didn't taste right.
could have been too much coffee
I know it's not the things
I've ingested
but rather those digested.
it's cuz I love and miss you
and am hoping you are well.
I know this because of my stomach;
it's nervous.
at the thought of you

GAI

There is melancholy rain happening outside. It is such a good day for GAI.

Wish I could write like this:

"Virginia May"

slept high up in the Rockies
set my clock for californ-i-ey-aye
and i dreamed up somethin special to give that ocean
man, she cuffs me anyway

so i’m banking on virginia
to keep me clear and calm and straight
just like clock work seems to tell us
with every passing storm there’s just a harder hail

so light my way, Virginia May
i can’t sit still, just pace across this hallway
we spent all this time
just trading crimes,
while the tune-smith packed a lunch,
he’s headed down the coastline

there’s a loneliness thats blowin
well i heard it from the radio man
he’s been locked up in the belfry
listening close, to a string upon a can

me, i’m sailin on to that savior,
she’s a pilgrim living on the modern time
and ever since i found her magic
now every car or cloud that passes is a sign

light my way, Virginia May
i can’t sit still just pace across this hallway
we spent all this time
just trading crimes

and i’m saving all my sleep for another life
i’m saving all my sleep for another life.

Or like this:

"Big Black Car"

you were a phonograph, i was a kid
i sat with an ear close, just listening
i was there when the rain tapped her way down you face
you were a miracle…i was just holdin your space

well time has a way of throwing it all in your face
the past, she is haunted, the future is laced
heartbreak, ya know, drives a big black car
swear i was in the back seat, just minding my own

and through the glass, the corn crows come like rain
they won’t stay, they won’t stay
for too long now

this could be all that we know..
of love and all.

well you were a dancer, i was a rag
the song in my head, well was all that i had
hope was a letter i never could send
love was a country we couldn’t defend.

and through the carnival we watch them go round and round
all we knew of home was just a sunset and some clowns

well you were a magazine, i was a plane jane
just walking the sidewalks all covered in rain
love to just get into one of your stories
just me and all of my plane jane glory

i heard a train last night

I woke up
warm in your arms
your hands were buried
in me
your breath on my neck
and I was so very content

but this is a fleeting moment
it is forever gone
until
you let your bluebird out to play
and you are earnest
to live again

this house is full of words

i took a chance
and glanced
inside the mailbox
you weren't in there

i wished
a reality into a dream
last night
and this morning
when you smiled
in my direction
it seemed true and real

and now
i occasion you often
in the presence of
your absence
because i know you are there
even when you're not

j'espere

you slept soundly
noisily
until the train came
to take me away
to a place warm with morning sunbeams
that fell on my cheeks and made my hair prickle
to a place where the breeze carries mist
that baptizes me in my dreams
and my despair
is that one day you might
join me there

irritated to the point of counting syllables (13)

i want to fill a table
with the things of you and me
pay the bill then walk away
leaving the hustle
and the bustle
of the me and you
laying there
til later there
the you and the me are real

---

you made me pop pills
for a year or two or more

to keep me from her
you made me build a brick wall

you're a selfish bitch
and i will never more brick
and mortar my heart
to ready your happiness

---

a moment in my life
is speckled with you and me and we
a moment in your life
you found comfort within my shelter
i thought to do the same
and found myself wanting for you more
and now there is silence
it is not golden or true but blue