i am wary of johnson and johnson consumer company, inc--but here's why

I live in America; I am a consumer. I know, it grosses me out, too.

About a month ago my mom went to the store to purchase items that I had requested before I returned to school for my final semester of college. The grocery list included: Ramen noodles, Campbell's chicken and rice, EZ Mac, Oreos (of the double stuf variety), coffee, non-dairy creamer, tampons and Johnson and Johnson Clean and Clear face wash with the micro-scrubbers (in the light blue tube)--I'm really particular about what I put on my face because just about everything except the items I use, make me get hives, which is why I don't use fabric softener, ever.

She bought me all of the above and more and even bought me my favorite body wash (Suave unscented body wash with hydrating cocoa and shea butter--because I've got mountain woman skin--gag).

But you see, the newer tubes of Johnson and Johnson Clean and Clear face wash with micro-scrubbers (in the light blue tube) are causing me angst as an anti-consumer consumer. The hole that the face wash comes out of in the lid--is a lot bigger in the new tube than in the older version. I think Johnson and Johnson, are out to get my buck because I have already gone through a whole tube of face wash in the last four weeks. It usually takes me a whole other month to get through a whole tube of that fabulous stuff. And, I mean, a tube of face wash costs like six bucks! Rip! Off!

I am extremely disturbed by this new dilemma because I like to think that I make good selections in products. That the products I choose, actually choose my hippie-tree-hugging-Marxist-loving-self. That these products emit some kind of karmic energy that my soul is attracted to. That these products are meant for me. Now, before you go getting all huffy...I realize that Oreos and EZ Mac and ready in the microwave soup create an intense amount of garbage but I do drink beer out of glass bottles so that I can recycle them and so that aluminum doesn't seep into my brain or the brains of the fish who swim in the streams below the landfill in my town. And I even purchase beer (in the bottle) for the guys who come by my dorm once a week to take out the entire dorm's recycling. So, overall, I think I have pretty good karma and that basically I'm an aware individual who attempts to pursue equal rights of not only humans but of the fishies and the birdies and the toaster strudel eating raccoons that live in the woods across the street from me. (Also, the beer for the recyling guys acts as positive reinforcement and thus perpetuates recycling--trust me, I'm a comped psychology major--refer to the link in the title of this blog entry). Thus, I'm allowed to rant about the deceptive increase in the size of the hole in the new tube of face wash that chooses my harmonious soul to purchase it at six bucks a pop. Like I wouldn't notice?

Dear Johnson and Johnson Consumer Company, Inc,

Why do you choose to take my money at an exponentially increasing rate? Why do you choose to rip off a social activist who just wants clean poors and the orgasmic feeling of micro-scrubbers in the morning and the night on my face skin? Why do you choose to create more garbage with the increased size in the dispensing hole (one tube being thrown away each month per user as opposed to one tube every two months per user)? If you, Johnson and Johnson Consumer Company, Inc--with the word consumer in the title of your company, would like to do one of the following? I would be extremely grateful: a) decrease the size of the hole or b) take the profit from the increase in hole size each month and donate it to the Green Party.

Thanks,
Bertha