cake or death? um...i'll have the chicken

Things that don't make sense:

The Dewey Decimal system makes No. Sense. because I can never remember author's names when I'm searching for books I've never read. Usually, I can only remember bits of the title, just as I can only remember bits of lyrics from songs and then make up the rest.

My mom is really clever for no reason. She strategically placed the Sunday AJC in front of my door and sent my sister up to wake me this morning with a generic statement, "Mom wants you to come downstairs." *sleepily opened one eye* "Why?" *sigh* "She just said to come downstairs." *opened the other eye* "What was she doing?" *more sighing* "Writing the grocery list." *closed both eyes* "Tell her I'll be home for dinner Sunday and Thursday." Ten minutes later up came my sister again with a note from my mom. It read, "Smartass." She's only mad because her plan didn't work out and I continued to sleep instead of reading the AJC for the job listings. PS. Mother dear, reading the paper is the antiquated way of job searching since the invention of the internet and all.

I went to a vegetable stand today because I'm obsessed with vegetable stands and the intriguing people that own them. I met Mike. He sold me some boiled peanuts and peaches, neither of which I wanted but both of which ended up paying for. Mike likes to chatter at his customers. I listened and bought things and didn't eat any of the things I bought because boiled peanuts taste funny and the peaches weren't ripe. I never buy fruit that isn't ripe because I forget that I bought them if I have to wait for them to ripen.

Is it still standard for resumes to only be a page long if your work history is less than ten years? I can't fit it all on one page without making the font really small. What's the point of a resume if you can't even read it? Also, can a woman wear pants on a job interview because I think yes, but my mom thinks no and will let me wear pencil skirts which make my hips look like I have already birthed three children. I responded to this with the following statements: 1. Have you ever been to a non-profit organization? 2. This is not the 80's, Mom. 3. Also, you can fit a vagina into a pair of pants.