Drowned and drinking the light...god's eyes are closed just like yours

Do you ever have a moment when you just want to slap your ownself in the face?

So, I was all mucked up in polyester green-ness tonight at the local grocery talking for the tenth day in a row to some lady about the soy milk she was purchasing. I don't even like soy milk, but it's entertaining to keep a tally of how many people with whom I can discuss soy milk and other soy products. Anyway, right after that lady left, a Spanish speaking couple were in my line. I don't like to refer to these people as Hispanic or Mexican or any other proper noun because in these parts they all mean the same thing: hatred. I liked this couple. They were cute and the husband was teasing the lady about something. I don't know what though, cuz they were talking in Spanish and I only know the French. Anyway, they had a WIC order which is a little irritating because it requires me to pay special attention to the items purchased and the dates on the check, yadda yadda yadda... So, they bought their 5 canisters of Similac with Iron supplement on one order and then on the second order *sigh* they were purchasing a home pregnancy test.

I instantly became the most judgmental person I've ever met. I was nice to them though. I mean, for all I know it could have been for someone else or they could be Catholic and not use barrier methods. Anyway, it's none of my business...but yet I was passing judgment. And I immediately wanted to smack myself in the face and yell at myself like your mom did when you were a kid and you said a swear word at church or something terribly embarrassing like that.

After they left, I gave myself a time-out. While I mopped the floor I thought about how beautiful babies can be and how many people can't have them and how that couple might be having a baby and how miraculous and beautiful that is. And then I blocked* the baby aisle which P.S. is a pain in the royalest of asses cuz of all the itty bitty baby food jars.

*straightened, like in a library when you pull all the books to the front edge of the shelf so it's even and orderly. The goal is to run your finger along the shelf edge and feel no space breaks in the books.