"i have never felt so corporate as that day. even though, technically, the government is not a corporation." --The Britt

The Britt recently traveled to DC to make sure it didn't sleep alone tonight. Well, actually she went for touristy self-indulgent reasons, which I totally condone.

1. So, You recently went to the Federal Reserve. Why?

I had an interview for the position of Assistant Technical Editor. I found this job posting on USAJobs.com and applied back on May 19. At that time, I was applying for almost anything with "editor" or "writer" in the title, in any city where I thought I might possibly ever want to live. Though I'm actually moving to NYC next month, I accepted the interview. I wanted the interview practice, and also, my theory is, if someone asks you if you want to come to the Federal Reserve, you say, "Yes." I can't imagine any circumstance in the future when I would ever be able to go again. I like to think of the whole experience as a unique, surreal and fascinating tourist outing. After I was done with the interview and got some lunch, I went to the National Gallery, and looking around at the other tourists, I am fairly confident that I was the only one there who had been to the Federal Reserve that day. I mean, Monet is cool and all, but relatively speaking, fairly pedestrian.

2. What did you wear? A green business suit?!

I wore a short sleeve gray jacket, a gray striped skirt that fell below my knees, sensible black heels, and pantyhose (not kidding here), all purchased at Kohl's on my mother's Kohl's credit card. I also wore a short sleeve white button-down shirt from Ann Taylor Loft, purchased in a frantic haze because I hate picking out clothes, and the store was about to close for the evening. I probably also wore minimal jewelry, maybe some low-profile earrings and a necklace. I was attempting to look professional, and I didn't want to sport too much bling. I did not wear make-up. I never ever wear make-up, because it makes me feel like a drag queen, and I was already wearing the heels and skirt and pantyhose.

3. Who did you meet?

I'll omit last names since I'm assuming your website is publicly available.

Before traveling to DC, I spoke on the phone to Dustin, who is charge of travel arrangements, because apparently when you interview at the Federal Reserve Board, they are supposed to take care of that sort of thing. I drove up there the day before the interview, but I can submit forms for reimbursement for mileage and metro fares.

Other than an initial stream of security personnel, I met and talked with six different people during the whole interview process, which took nearly 3 hours. I arrived at 11:45 am for a 12 pm appointment and had to show my ID to two guards outside the building before I was allowed to enter the building. Then I was given a yellow badge that declared that I must have an escort at all times and went through the metal detectors.

First I met with Annita, who I thought was going to be the main interviewer, but was actually a recruiter. The first thing we discussed was the benefits package, which seemed backwards to me, but whatever. I mean, I hadn't even yet figured out what this job was actually going to entail. In case you didn't know, working for the government means you get some pretty sweet benefits.

Then I met with Rebecca, another recruiter, who was not aware that I was meeting with Annita and thought she was going to discuss benefits with me. Since I had already covered that stuff with Annita, I, basically, just sat in Rebecca's office quietly and read about economic policy until it was time for the real interview. One interesting detail was that Rebecca had a Super Recruiter action figure in her office. (Negative points for Rebecca's lack of knowledge are balanced by her Cool points for the Action Figure!!)

So finally, I met with Mary, who would be my supervisor if I took the job (although at the Federal Reserve, they're not called "supervisors," they're called "line leaders"). This was pretty much a basic interview, so I won't go into too much detail, but it was a bit of a challenge when I had to explain why I, a former academic with two degrees in English but never spent a day in an Economics course, thought working at the Federal Reserve would fulfill my "career interests."

Next I talked with two Technical Editors who work for Mary, Jill and Christopher. The point of this was for them to be "resources" for me and answer any questions I had. We talked some about the job and the FRB, but then we mainly talked about sports, though they didn't initially strike me as the types to be big sports fans. But really, they didn't know that much about sports. When I mentioned that I was from Durham, they thought that I loved the Duke Blue Devils AND the Carolina Tar Heels. It was appalling, and I cringed while explaining that I actually harbor a deep and eternal hatred for UNC basketball

Finally, I spoke with Mary's line leader, Joyce. This wasn't as intimidating as I thought it was going to be, but I was so tired and dehydrated at this point that I felt almost dizzy, making it understandably more difficult to be articulate.

A few more notes on the visit: the whole ordeal was so incredibly structured that I don't think the various parties even bothered to communicate with each other, or even with me. It took me a while to figure out what was going on and why. Most of the people I talked to didn't bother to explain what their job was or why I was talking to them, or what I was going to be doing next. Also, apparently it's protocol to give prospective employees a meal ticket to the FRB cafeteria, but I didn't know about it until they started apologizing for not having enough time to take me to lunch. For instance, Mary said, "I feel badly because we had promised you lunch," when in fact, they had not.

4. Did you see anyone important?

This is clearly a leading question, (yea, I know...that's how I roll) because as you are already aware, I got a lingering glimpse of the Chairman Himself, Mr. Ben Bernanke, the man in charge of regulating our entire economic system, the distinguished successor of Alan Greenspan. (oooh...ahhhh)

This is how it went down. (What had happened was...) I had been there for about 2 1/2 hours, and I was about to leave, which meant I was being escorted out of the building by Mary, since I had to have an escort at all times. At the last minute, she suggested that we go take a look at The Board Room, since she didn't think that there were any meetings going on that day. So we enter this circular (or octagonal?) foyer where there's (another) security guard. He looks at her ID, but then calls her back a moment later to sign in, which was weird, since she had never been asked to sign in before. So we walk through a hallway where there's a large impressive seal and I'm afraid to step on it. Mary says, "Oh, it's okay, you can step on the seal." And I have to explain that it was bad luck to step on the seal at Sewanee and now it's ingrained in me, Thou Shalt Not Step on a Seal. We walk though the double doors into a large impressive room where there's a long official-looking table and she explains about procedures of giving testimony and such things. And we look to our left where there's a doorway into a smaller adjoining room. And standing in the doorway was . . . Ben Bernanke!! I knew it was him right away because I'd been looking at the website with his picture the day before, and also Mary says, "Oh, there He is." And Ben Bernanke proceeds to close the door and then we don't see him anymore.

5. Was there wood paneling on the walls?

Wood paneling wasn't on my mind, so I wasn't looking for it, and thus my testimony might be flawed, but to the best of my recollection: No. There was no wood paneling on any of the walls at the Federal Reserve. I actually got to see two of the buildings that are located across the street from one another, which I walked between by means of an underground concourse, but there are other buildings in the DC area that might possibly have wood paneling. More on the underground concourse: I passed by a convenience store and a research library, and I was also informed that there is a dry cleaners and a gym down there. More on the walls: I think they were stone or concrete. The whole place seemed pretty classy. Art on the walls and stuff. The art on the walls of the concourse were of baseball players in action. When I went to see the board room (that's THE board room, mind you), there was a painting in the foyer of a barrel full of money. No joke.

More on wood paneling: it makes me think of a 1970's gentleman's club. So I would be disappointed if it were a key decorative feature of a major federal building.

6. Did you learn any secrets about our government's economic future?

Sadly, no. I really wanted to know if the whole sub-prime mortgage scandal was destined to sink us even deeper into an endless pile of shit, or if we actually are in a Recession, but such matters were alluded to briefly, abstractly and delicately.

I got to look at some publications that I would be working on (if I were actually to have the job of Assistant Technical Editor), and one series of reports were Restricted Access, so I only got to see the covers, which were green, because it was The Green Book.

7. If you are offered the job, and you accept, would you invest in a Green Suit?

This is a moot point, because I'm moving to New York in August to be Poor and Unemployed and Happy, but I guess it would depend on the shade of green. I suspect you imagine me decked out like Uncle Moneybags on Duck Tales, and despite my lack of fashion sense, I just wouldn't go there. Sorry.

8. What was the highlight of the experience?

Did I mention that I saw Ben Bernanke??

Also, the constant escort thing was fairly amusing, especially when I had to visit the ladies room. Probably the last time someone had to wait outside the door while I used the facilities, I was five years old.