the lobster trilogy

Something is happening to me and I cannot keep it inside anymore. I am in the midst of a lobster trilogy. Let me explain.

Saturday night, I traveled downtown to hang out with my friend Stacey. We had a couple of beers and then headed to the lesbian bar, My Sister's Room. MSR is the kind of bar that play good music and serves moderately priced drinks. It is also, however, the kind of place that makes me extremely nervous. It has zero seating and a huge dance floor. Basically, if you can't dance...you don't belong there. For me, that is extremely difficult so I always drink too much when I go there. Six beers, lots of dancing, and four hours later, we were leaving. I had had a great time, but was way ready for bed. So, when we were on our way to the car, I ran into some girl. She was completely convinced that I was the girl that had previously been dancing with her blonde-headed friend. While I was trying to explain to her that I was, in fact, not that girl, I noticed something strange. The girl had a huge inflatable lobster hat on her head. I tried to excuse myself from the conversation but the lobster kept looking at me and shaking it's air-filled-lobstery-legs at me while she continued to talk. Finally, Stacey rescued me from the lobster girl.

Then, yesterday, I was working...like ya do. It was nearing the end of my shift. I was tired and grumpy, cranky and needing nicotine. There was a customer with some odd looking boxes on the conveyor belt. I wasn't paying much attention to the boxes. Mainly, I was irritated by them because the bar codes were on the tops of the boxes. I was tipping the first box over to ring up the bar code when suddenly (and all of this happened in a matter of approximately two seconds) I noticed the words "Live Lobster" on the side of the box. It occurred to me that I was tipping over a box filled with a living lobster. At the precise microsecond that I realized that, the lobster starting shuffling around in the box. I dropped the box and screamed like a little girl. Since this was happening at 5pm, and also at the exact moment that all the after-work grocery shoppers were standing in line to purchase dinner, about thirty people started laughing at me. I ducked down behind my register with embarrassment. Even the stupid bag boy was laughing at me.

As I recounted both lobster stories to my friend Joel yesterday, he prophecied that there would be a third lobster interaction sometime soon. He couldn't be sure that the third interaction would be good or bad, but he was sure that I shouldn't force fate. This reminder of fate was good because I was already thinking about purchasing Nantucket lobster shorts or maybe scheduling a dinner at Red Lobster, just to get the damn trilogy over with. But, I guess I'm just gonna have to wait for the natural arrival of the lobsters.