I don't think I would have liked it in Portland anyway...

I stood outside the house with the car keys in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other; I was nervous. I had screamed several times for them through the screened door. Each time hearing laughter, which irritated me. I puffed on my cigarette and began running around the front porch in my clacker shoes while humming Led Zeppelin. Fran and her brother emerged from the house, laughing at my expense, "Geez Bertha, it's just a magazine editor."

"Just a magazine editor?!!!" I yelled. "You guys, this is Andi Zeisler of Bitch: Feminist Response to Pop Culture. She's speaking at our conservative college--this is a huge deal! Also, Fran, you have a vagina, so you should know these things," I pointed to her vagina. She looked at me with one of these 'really?' kind of looks. Like it was completely inappropriate to be discussing a vagina in the driveway. I mean, vaginas--they exist--half the population has one and nearly everyone came out of one (with the exceptions being Ceasarean section births).

Anyway...

We piled in the car. I sped to the other side of campus and lectured the entire way about feminism and organized vs. unorganized and choice and empowerment. Fran's brother looked frightened. Fran just laughed. I... well, I chain smoked in between rants.

We got there...YAY!..we found seats....YAY!...I saw hot-professor-who-I-have-a-crush-on...YAY!...and then it happened. Andi Zeisler took the podium in all of her glory and my little social justice oriented heart--it crushed on her.

I took notes, and here they are:

why do we consume pop culture?
the quicket route to fame for a woman is to release a sex tape.
psychological war=Oxygen channel
for a shot at notoriety --> ?
nonficitional women --> dismissed
victim blaming v. freedom of expression --> why do we choose to express ourselves this way
women = pliable = goal ? (gross)
Clinton = sexism in the media (motherfuckers)
1996 = birth of internet, before facebook, blog or reality tv--zine born with ranting
social equality = consumer freedom
normal women =/ feminists (?)
moments of consumption --> pop culture = politics = social justice (overlapping)
advice: see the forrest, not just the trees
obligation to be aware and know where it's coming from--> hollow cath phrases/true analysis (choosing one over the other)
male commercial oriented society--recycled ideas
documentary about strippers --> sexualized image of women --> coopting feminism
empowering: overcoming disenfranchisement v. choosing what women want and declaring it awesome
choice: roe v. wade, it's an apolitical word juxsaposed to the word "right"--degrading/lessens the impact--is choice a right if you're a feminist--and then is it just a choice if you're not a feminist?
pop culture + commerical industry = empowerment (gag)
limitations are our choice?
feminism made me make choice and therefore we, as women, are limited -- FUCK THAT
family friendly policies--> no b/c the system is anti-feminist? or patriarchal? or just flat out doesn't give a damn
SEX IN THE CITY: success + happiness + choice
backsliding within feminism-->happened and succeeded (no!)
"a woman can't be trusted to make her own decisions" (bwhahaha) --but that's what the gov't thinks
infuriation = energy
she likes law and order--i heart her! and we're made for each other.
Spread magazine--look into this.

Basically, after Andi was finished talking, people asked questions. I had a question, but was a little afraid I would say something inappropriate like, "I love you," to her if I asked it. So, instead, I followed her around like a puppy dog until I got the chance to ask her my question. But I was really nervous...so my friend Mary introduced me to her by saying, "Hey Andi, meet my friend Bertha. She has a huge social justice crush on you." I shook her hand and said, "Yea, it's true," and consequently turned various shades of red. Later I found out that she was taken. So, I drank a lot of beer and went home to watch Law and Order...alone.