fuck the clouds, i want some tuna salad

We met some years ago. I was waiting on the sidewalk for a friend. (I know what you're thinking; some loose chick in a short leather skirt and red prostitute boots). Well, I was leaning against a blue building smoking a cigarette and pondering whether or not I was in Cicely, Alaska and what if a moose came down the street, if that's what you mean. But, when I flicked my cigarette onto what I thought was a tree. It turned out to be her. She marched right up to me and told me I needed to be careful before I ruined her brand new sweater. Her eyes were the most lovely shade of brown I've ever seen. I snubbed out my cigarette and asked her if she wanted some tea or coffee or something? She smiled and blushed, and we've been together ever since. And in case you were interested, I remain to this day the non-owner of red prostitute boots.

I was wary of love. Life demands all sorts of things from the soul and the heart. My heart and soul are no different.

We decided to make like an Indigo Girls song and take a picnic. I packed the pinot noir. She made tuna salad with olives in it; my favorite. We set out for the spot on the bluff where I always get this overwhelming feeling that if I jumped, I would fly. I would fly so far out over the Cumberland Plateau and all the places shadowed by the tallness of the mountains. I would fly right up to the clouds and mingle with them. And then I'd fly back and rest on the bluff and wait for the feeling to come along again. But when I went there with her, that day, and we ate tuna salad with olives in it and drank pinor noir; I didn't have to wait on the flying feeling to come because I had been up there socializing with those clouds for three months at that point.

But then, I got scared.

"I always feel bad when I step on their roots," she said, "like I need to say I'm sorry to the trees." Tears welled in her eyes. That's when I knew I loved her. I took her hand. It fit so snugly into mine, and in my heart I was flying off the bluff. And all the things that I wanted to have happen before that ran through my mind; live in a tree, work on a farm, go to Canada. All of that stuff made me drop her hand. The purest tears I've ever seen. Tears of honesty and truth; compassionate tears ran down her cheeks. And I ran. I ran away from those tears because I knew they were for me and not the trees. I left her there with the trees. And I can't go back because my heart and soul are wary of love.