Daytime Television Sucks

Dear The Makers of my Emerson VHS/DVD Player Combo,

Thank you very much for nothing.

I purchased your product in hopes of being able to view either DVD's or VHS's without having to purchase separate DVD and VHS players. The DVD player component stopped working 6 months after I got the combo player and the VHS player has decided to eat all my video tapes as of late. Now, I am stuck in bed with the plague with no means of watching my favorite videos. No more Mean Girls (that one got eaten 6 months ago, and was the first to bite the dust), no more Miss Congeniality, no more L word, no more social justice documentaries. No more visual entertainment for me or my friends or ANYONE!

Additionally, you have forced a sick (probably dying) woman out of her bed and to a couch across campus in order for her to have access to film entertainment. That is so inconsiderate. You make me sick (literally).

Sincerely,
Broke Bertha

P.S. If you see my BFF hanging around will you ask her to bring me some soup, or some lunchables? Thanks.