My face

Sneeze Count (SC): 1

My face hasn't seen the outside of a tissue in three days. Oy! The pressure. And I'm hot and then cold and then hot again. Someone stole my Zinc! All the OTC medicine makes me dizzy, and people continue to (SC: 2) need things from me.

Last night, par example, I went home to pass the hell out and was met in the hallway by a friend who asked how I was doing. I replied (SC: 3) that I was sick, thank you very much, would she please get out of my way b/c I was on my way to my bed, please. To which she responded that she was very sorry that I was sick and then launched into a freakin' fifteen minute long rant about her no-good-very-bad-day. (SC: 4) I don't remember much about the story because I had already taken my nightly anti-histamine.

I woke up this morning to find even more pressure behind my eyes. No matter, I thought. I'll call the doctor, wear a dress and go to work--surely everything will be fine by this evening. On the way to work I called my mom to ask her a question about a tax form. She could hear the pressure in my head by the way I was talking and like a good mother told me to get thyself to a doctor.

I walked into work, looking rather nice (b/c if you don't feel good you should look good), and was met by my boss who said I looked like hell why was I not going to the doctor? (SC: 5) I said I couldn't find a replacement and could he move away from me b/c I was about to sneeze green boogers on him. He moved, I sneezed and then I called the doc. While I was on the phone with the doctor my other boss came out of her office and started asking people why I wasn't at the doctor with the way I was sneezing all over the patrons (and the phone for that matter).

Here's what the doctor said: You're not sick enough to come see me.

WTF? Hello? Did she not hear my graphic descriptions of boogers and pressure and fever and how I have so much work (not to mention people) to tend to. (SC: 6)

Here are some stats for you, doctor:

Hours slept last night: 9 (since you were so concerned with that)
Tissues used in the last 2 days: 2 rolls of toilet paper and 1/2 a box of tissues
Drug intake: high (and scheduled--every four hours)
H2O intake: extremely high
(SC: 7)
Caffeine intake: none (I know, I'm shocked as well)
People in need of a well me (number of people I'm therapying): 5
BFF's opinion of a sick me: eww
# of times I've felt the urge to take a nap while writing this: 3

Whatever, she's not even a doctor. She's a nurse practitioner.