As many of you know, I am a big fan of the Amstel Light. It's a fine light pilsner that has captured my heart and my buck many a night. Many fond memories are stored in the creases of my brain of that beer and the people with which I have drunk it. Like the time last spring when I hired a sexpert to come to Sewanee and talk about orgasms. Afterward, she and I both enjoyed an Amstel Light at the local restaurant, Shenanigans. It was a delightful evening. Then of course, I cannot neglect to mention the many evenings spent at home in the presence of my conservative family drinking that lovely stuff in hopes of escaping the wrath of their tongues. And you see, people, I would love to continue the storyline of the love affair between myself and the Amstel Light as the graduation experiences approach, however herein lies the problem-o.
THERE IS NO AMSTEL LIGHT ON THE SURFACE OF THIS HELLISH MOUNTAIN TO APPEASE MY DESIRE.
*gasps for air* How will I celebrate with perfection? *clutches heart* How will I deal with the terror that is sure to ensue as my family mingles with my college environment and community? *gagging noises* How will I live??!!!
If anyone locates any Amstel Light, please phone me. I have searched everywhere, including the internet news, you know...to make sure they didn't run out of hops or something tragic like that.
Love,
Bertha
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1 comment:
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