I am a Life Coach...when did this happen?

I have spent the better portion of the day trying to convince myself that I a) do not have stomach ulcers, b) am not a tool and c) am a charming individual.

It all started when I got home this morning, and my mom told me that the huge lump that has been on my left ankle for the last year is probably cancerous and that I need to go to the doctor to get it checked out. Then she went on to describe that my stomach aches are probably peptic ulcers. After downing four Tums and a Gas-X, I went up to my room with a huge glass of water and changed into some sweat pants. Then one of my best friends called me and said the following, "Since I've now decided that you're my Life Coach, I need you to solve my problems." Later, another good friend of mine, who I haven't spoken to all summer, called me to hear about my latest drama sagas (which in my mind negates my supposed abilities to be a successful or even somewhat helpful Life Coach--but no one listens to me anyway). Her response was validation of my charming personality, and then she promptly hung up on me.

So, what is a girl to do? Naturally, she is to watch Bravo television all evening. The line up included several Project Runway episodes which were followed by a showing of Legally Blonde (which I have now watched twice in a row). I'm going to bed, maybe my dreams will validate my existence. And if not, at least maybe I won't be so grouchy in the morning.